This week, something in my life came to an end. I know it’s hard to leave it at that, but seriously: it doesn’t really matter — not for this.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it since then. And I’ve realized some things. I knew the end was coming. I wasted a lot of energy being anxious about the end coming. Whether the end came or not is something that was out of my control.
The end came and went, and nothing qualitatively got worse in my life.
I realized that it was not the end I was afraid of; it was change… it was the unknown… it was the lack of control over the outcome.
Now I’ve spent enough time around other human beings to know that these are not struggles unique to me. And I’ve spent enough time around other preachers to know that this is often where a kind of vague spiritualization of struggle kicks in: “place your trust in God instead!” (heck, I’ve done it too).
But this week I have found myself unexpectedly aware of a Presence accompanying me in my fear of change… journeying with me into the unknown… plunging out of control with me into the future. That Presence has not condemned me for not trusting enough to avoid being in this situation in the first place, but has only in Love ridden the rapids of my life with me instead of remaining secure on heaven’s shores.
I don’t know you can identify with any of that, or if your spirit leaps and longs for it. But be gentle with yourselves. God is.
Remember, we’re all in this together.
Pastor Michael